Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
