Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
