do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
