well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
