This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
