did you get engaged???
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
