am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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