She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I could fuck to npr.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
