what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
