Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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