if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
