how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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