we're blogging at a bar
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
