i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
