Just fell off a train. Bad.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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