so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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