WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
