She is in my trunk
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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