If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
