Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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