idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
