I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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