that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
cat food counts as protein by the way
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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