I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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