So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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