so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
