Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
