I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i will never coherently bang her
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
