He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
