We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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