so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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