Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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