ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he thought i was a dude.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
