yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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