Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
