i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
