Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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