Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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