She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
