could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
