So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
