I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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