U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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