it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
