Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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