I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
