grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
