I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
