My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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