i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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