I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
